I spent a good chunk of the afternoon backing up and relocating the gigs of crap I’ve been saving since undergrad, and stumbled upon some absolute treasures.

Among these treasures was a text file of some spontatneous and collaborative “Top 5″ lists that we generated on IRC a few years back. I’ll share some of these periodically, as they’re too priceless to let go. Credit must be given to Manda (punkstar/stunkpar), Liz, Heather, and the rest of you who might have participated in these lists.

Since they were created dynamically, there way more than five options for each topic. Deal with it: it’s IRC. Also, these are direct quotes – so don’t hamper me for the language; it wouldn’t be IRC if I censored it.

…oh, and may #room182 on webchat.org rest in peace.

Top 5 Ways to Tell You Spend Too Much Time on IRC:

1. You say “lol” instead of laughing during off line conversations
1. you end up like me
2. You try to /ignore co workers
3. Meeting new people is a problem, cuz they’re all “lamer newbies.”
4. You’re on IRC while waiting in LAX to fly to Australia to be with you girlfriend who you haven’t met yet.
5. You marry your online sweetie…online
5. http://www.makeoutclub.com
x. You tell people you *heart* them
x. You spend time on IRC making up top five lists because you think you’re a funny mother fucker

It’s worth posting some of the comments that were thrown in during this list, by people not contributing to the list:

[zoe] one time i was writing a paper in pen, an wrote your instead of you’re, and tried to edit undo it…but then i rememebred i couldnt and i felt increadably dumb.

[missy_182] fuck i know im on the fucking comuter too much
[missy_182] i got RSI
[missy_182] in my left hand

I’ve become increasingly addicted to blogs.

Sure, that follows: I’ve maintained a blog (of sorts) for years. But the truth is, up until a few months ago, I was a regular at only the most common blogs (Slashdot, Engadget, BoingBoing, etc.).

A few months ago, I grew fond of RSS aggregation, and the ability to sample lots of info in a hurry. So I started searching for blogs to add to my aggregator, and was moderately successful. My trip took me from Gush to Rojo, and finally to BlogLines. All of these services/programs have “most popular” and “recently added” lists…the primary source of my blog exposure.

Then I happened on BlogExplosion and BlogClicker. These sites allow you to promote your own blog by reading other blogs. How novel!

…and how addicting.

I’ve spent countless hours recently reading random blogs, about completely random topics; accordingly, I’ve learned an awful lot.

10. You don’t need to create your own custom theme, or even modify the standard themes, to get traffic.
9. You don’t need anything in particular to talk about.
8. It’s okay to inundate your readers with flashing banners, animated .gifs and outrageous color schemes.
7. If your political stance slants left, you’re better off.
6. Nobody has to know any of the people you write about, especially if you direct your entries at them.
5. You can require login/registration in order to post comments, but I won’t comment if you do.
4. It’s okay to create a blogroll (read: list of links) that’s three times as long as your longest post.
3. You don’t have to analyze the news; just copy and paste it from places like Yahoo!.
2. It’s recommended that you disguise yourself as either an animal or an extra-terrestrial; pigeons, dogs, cats, Martians, and horses are all incredibly well-versed in politics, humor, life and romance.
1. You don’t have to retain any semblance of English writing ability whatsoever; words like “ur,” “lol,” and “dood” are not only intelligible and appropriate, they’re encouraged.

You love cynics, don’t you?