turnipville dot comarooski

I’ve become increasingly addicted to blogs.

Sure, that follows: I’ve maintained a blog (of sorts) for years. But the truth is, up until a few months ago, I was a regular at only the most common blogs (Slashdot, Engadget, BoingBoing, etc.).

A few months ago, I grew fond of RSS aggregation, and the ability to sample lots of info in a hurry. So I started searching for blogs to add to my aggregator, and was moderately successful. My trip took me from Gush to Rojo, and finally to BlogLines. All of these services/programs have “most popular” and “recently added” lists…the primary source of my blog exposure.

Then I happened on BlogExplosion and BlogClicker. These sites allow you to promote your own blog by reading other blogs. How novel!

…and how addicting.

I’ve spent countless hours recently reading random blogs, about completely random topics; accordingly, I’ve learned an awful lot.

10. You don’t need to create your own custom theme, or even modify the standard themes, to get traffic.
9. You don’t need anything in particular to talk about.
8. It’s okay to inundate your readers with flashing banners, animated .gifs and outrageous color schemes.
7. If your political stance slants left, you’re better off.
6. Nobody has to know any of the people you write about, especially if you direct your entries at them.
5. You can require login/registration in order to post comments, but I won’t comment if you do.
4. It’s okay to create a blogroll (read: list of links) that’s three times as long as your longest post.
3. You don’t have to analyze the news; just copy and paste it from places like Yahoo!.
2. It’s recommended that you disguise yourself as either an animal or an extra-terrestrial; pigeons, dogs, cats, Martians, and horses are all incredibly well-versed in politics, humor, life and romance.
1. You don’t have to retain any semblance of English writing ability whatsoever; words like “ur,” “lol,” and “dood” are not only intelligible and appropriate, they’re encouraged.

You love cynics, don’t you?