I read this article over at Yahoo! a few minutes ago, and all I could focus on was the part that reads:

President Bush briefly discussed the missile test with Russian President Vladimir Putin during an 18-minute phone call the Russian official placed to the American president on Monday. The leaders plan to remain in touch on the missile issue, said Kate Starr, a spokeswoman for the National Security Council.

Do you ever wish you could be a proverbial "fly on the wall" for discussions like that? I do….

…and here’s what I imagine the conversation was like.

President Bush (GB): Hello?
President Putin (VP): Hey, George…it’s Vladimir.
GB: Vlady…how are things over there?
VP: Fine. Listen, this isn’t a social call…
GB: Is this about allofmp3.com again? I’ve already used my connections to have the place raided. They’ve already been….Putin…their place? Ahh? How about that one?
VP: No, not allofmp3.com, for God’s sake. This is about the missiles that Jongy’s about to launch over there in North Korea.
GB: Oh, that. Yeah. Let me guess: you’re worried I’m going to bomb North Korea into the stone age. Oh, wait…they’re already there. Bahahahhahaha…
VP: Seriously, though. Your advisors are going to be fired up about this.
GB: I know. They interrupted my breakfast with the news.
VP: What are your thoughts?
GB: Well, I’ve been pretty clear on this whole thing. Either Jongy gets in line, and stops with the nucelar (sic) weapons routine, or I’m going to turn Trey Parker loose and fund another movie that belittles him.
VP: I don’t think that’s appropriate. They’re our allies, after all.
GB: Look, Vlady. We’ve been through this before. Twenty years ago, the Soviet Union was scary. Today, Russia isn’t very scary. I don’t care about your allies, and I don’t care about the price of rice in North Korea. Either he gets in line, or we’ll ensure that he’s…Putin…line.
VP: George, don’t….Bush…me.
GB: That was lame.
VP: Sorry. English is my second language.
GB: Yah, well your English is MY second language, too.
VP: So what are we going to do about North Korea?
GB: I don’t know, exactly. But count on it pissing you off.
VP: Right. I’ve got a meeting with the Russian mafia in ten minutes. Can I call you afterward?
GB: Sure. During the meeting, tell your wife I said ‘hi.’
VP: She hasn’t been involved since…
GB: I know, I know. I’m just kidding.
VP: Okay, I’m going to lose reception here in a second. You know how crappy the hallways in the Kremlin are.
GB: Yah. Don’t worry, it’s not like I’m going to invade North Korea in the next hour.
VP: Really? That’s great news!
GB: Got ya again. Just keep your TV on. Call me if you’ve got a problem with what we decide.
VP: George? Are you there…? George?
GB: Vlady…can you hear me?
VP: George?
GB: You look great in a fur cap.
VP: I heard that.
GB: Later.
VP: (static)

Tags: russia, north korea, george bush, putin, kim jong-il